I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
