did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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