don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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