This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
