I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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