Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
