Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
