I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
