She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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