Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
