Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
