i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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