Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
