A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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