I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
