Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
