i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
