My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
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