we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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