i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
