Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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