Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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