Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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