i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
