You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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