READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I met the friendliest cop last night
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
