Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
