Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
