pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
