He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
