and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
