I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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