How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
