Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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