scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
