This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
A bitchslap is in order.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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