Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
