Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
