i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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