i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I intend to get homeless drunk
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
