found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
you never un-have a 4some
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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