Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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