Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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