so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
operation harelip BJ is a go
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My breasts were aching with rage.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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