im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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