i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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