I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
