the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
