And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
