Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
