Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
